Ramblings of a Woman Awaiting Birth
My water broke Wednesday night around 1 am. I was in that I've-been-laying-here-for-an-hour-but-not-really-sleeping-because-I'm-too-achy state. Suddenly I felt a pop of fluid gush out, a little wave of nausea, and my body started trembling. There was no mistaking what was happening. I leaked a trail into the bathroom and started cleaning up, feeling some nervousness and excitement over the reality of the oncoming labor. I smiled to myself thinking that my membranes just ruptured all over the government's stupid loaner pillow that I'd been sleeping with in-between my knees for the last couple weeks. It felt vindicating to do that on their property after all the problems they've caused us with this move. I actually let out a devilish little cackle.

In the morning, I realized it was actually my own pillow after all. There goes that fun.

Well, it is a day and a half later and I am STILL waiting for labor to start! I've had just enough contractions to kill my sleep for the past two nights, but not enough to go into real labor. Two dreamless nights and the fun hasn't even begun!
My mom said her water broke before labor when she had my sister. Her water broke at 11pm, and my sister popped out three hours later. I was expecting to be more like my mom.
I read that only about 10% of women have their water break before labor starts. And of those women, 85% are in labor within 24 hrs. Stats don't help much, do they?

I am nervous because if my body doesn't decide to go into labor soon, I will have to get induced. I really want a drug-free, IV-free labor. I supposed if this whole child-bearing thing has taught me anything, it would be that I have no control over most of the decision-making going on in my body. A couple months ago I was pretty pumped about a water birth, but then I found out they won't do those in Sweden. But they would let you sit in a tub until push time. Unless your water breaks early. So there goes that plan too!

Research schmesearch: In the US, if your water breaks, you have at most 24 hrs before they induce labor on you because they say there is too high a risk for infection after that. In Sweden, they think it's not quite as imminent a risk and let you go 2 - 3 days before inducing labor.
However, in Sweden they won't allow water births because they say there is a higher risk for infection. But in the US, current research says that isn't true and water births are a growing trend.
I recently read something else (on baby sleep) where the U.S. findings and Swedish findings were exactly opposite as well. Gotta love "scientific" research!

Here is something that sounds even more hippy that wanting a water birth. As I was out walking along the water last night, I was thinking how perfect it would be if I could have birth outside with the birds and trees and grass near the water, and a midwife just set up her little station of things for delivery under a tent there or something. I would summon the strength of the wolves that would be howling in the distance, the grace of the birds floating by, the calmness of the still water, perfectly in tune with mother-nature, and bear my son. Haha. Kidding. Kind of.
But really, I felt good, strong, graceful, calm and in tune with myself out there on my nature walk. Like I could handle labor. When I was in the hospital this morning for my check up after my membranes ruptured, I ended up feeling stressed, frustrated, tense, awkward, and out of my element. I hope the experience is a little less frustrating when I finally go in for the actual birth.

In case you were wondering, skipping during a walk (first checking both ways that no one is watching) will not induce labor.
Laughing really hard also doesn't induce labor. But it can give you contractions. Rob has done that to me a few times now. On our way to the hospital yesterday morning, Rob drove our Lexus the way a sports car is meant to be driven, crying out frantically "She's having a baby! She's having a baby!!!" Even though there was obviously no rush whatsoever. It cracked me up so hard I started contracting.

The nesting instinct is real. I'm not sure if I have ever gone into such an emotional upheaval as I did all day on Tuesday after finding out that our housing items that were supposed to FINALLY arrive the next day were delayed yet another week. I was Angry. I was ready to make the house perfect for the arrival of Biggie Smalls and now I can't do anything. The neighbors may have wondered what sort of wild animal was making those roars in our house. I fantasied about punching my fist through the walls and breaking all sorts of things. I settled for throwing a pill bottle, a highlighter, and Rob's old i-phone that is already broken. I threw them so hard that I broke the cap to the pill bottle, the cap popped off the highlighter, and Rob's phone is broken a little better now. Pretty wild mama, huh? Then I picked up it all up so as not to make a mess nor alert Rob of my insanity (although I think he may already be on to that). Rob helped me work through my nesting issues later that night (apparently Biggie Smalls won't do a quality control check on our house when we bring him home) and I think I am back into my good ole' peaceful hippie/Buddha mindset that it's all just material possessions which I am totally fine, maybe sometimes even better off, without.

I am SO excited to meet our son. My body has about 17 hours left to figure out how to go into labor or I get induced, and if that doesn't work, c-section. I know the end goal is just to have a healthy baby. But I am actually looking forward to the birth and hope the experience isn't taken away from me. Like I'm in the last mile of a race and and the sweep wagon is hot on my heels, trying to make me get in and take a ride to the finish. I hope I can make it on my own before I'm forced into the sweep wagon.
Tick-tock, tick-tock...

Brittany  – (9:51 AM)  

Oh Lorena. You are handling everything so well. I know if it were me I would be in a constant state of tears and hysteria. I already feel those coming on sometimes and I've still got 2 months left!

You and the baby (and Rob) are in my prayers constantly. I know everything will go well!

P.S. I'm sorry about your pillow!

Anna  – (9:56 AM)  

Too bad you didn't get the sweet revenge on government pillows that you were hoping for. Oh, and I'm super impressed with your lit review on child birth. I don't know how I'm going to concentrate at work today knowing that you're so close to the big sprint finish!

Amy C  – (10:16 AM)  

Lorena, I'm so sorry you have to keep waiting. I hope Biggie Smalls come real soon, although I pray he waits until tomorrow. We can't have him having a 9/11 birthay. I had a dream about you giving birth last night, I'll spear the details, but know, I can't wait to see you and meet my new nephew!!!!

I love you guys!!!

Joy Candrian  – (12:14 PM)  

Constant prayers are being said for you and Michael. My personal advice is be gateful for any medical help at this time in your life...without it, I would have never been able to have your husband! I hope the hospital isn't too far away..How long does it take you to get there via the car & Rob's speeding?

Joy Candrian  – (12:14 PM)  

Opps I meant grateful!

Rachelle  – (12:21 PM)  

I love this post! Very fun and honest (unlike your other lying posts). The thought of Rob speeding and yelling about your baby coming, that is too hilarious! Sorry about your pillow. Maybe you can have Michael spit up and/or wizz all over something gov't owned when he arrives.

Erin S  – (12:24 PM)  

I'm sorry! My water broke first with Carter and I was so mad. I wanted a natural birth, I even had a doula. But I ended up getting induced, which sucks, and then getting the epidural, which then stopped my labor. It was a long day. I am really really hoping that things start to pick up for you. Eat eggplant, drink raspberry leaf tea, and keep walking!!!

AJ Candrian  – (12:41 PM)  

WOOHOO! So close! Can't wait to FINALLY be an aunt! You guys are in my prayers.

Also, your post made me realize how much I do not know about birth, pregnancy, etc. I have no idea what the "nesting instinct" means... or ruptured membranes. I guess I didn't listen very well in health class. But despite all this lack of knowledge, I think just being a really awesome aunt will come naturally. I'm ready.

Sara  – (1:04 PM)  

I feel so much for you right now!! It so tough when there is so much that is out of your control. I remember talking with my doc and him explaining how there really isn't much "science" behind childbirth, because they really can't nail down much of anything - not only is it different for every person, but it's even different each time for the same person!

Remember that more important than how the baby comes, is just that it happens. And, I think modern medicine is truly a gift from Heavenly Father, so while the whole natural thing was cool, having some help with the process is cool too.

Stay laughing, stay happy (Rob that's totally your job) walk and try to vent out all of that stress! You are handling all of it so well, and your going to be an awesome mom (and dad)!

We'll be praying for you guys!!

McLove  – (2:50 PM)  

Super funny to read. You are a good writer Lorena:) Best of luck to you with everything. I hope everything goes as you would like and if not you won't even care because you will have the sweetest little face looking up at you:) Can't wait to see pictures!

Lisa  – (3:00 PM)  

Its all worth it

Andrea J  – (3:19 PM)  

That was incredibly logical for someone who is moments from birth. Way to set a new standard.

Mrs. Anderson  – (8:16 PM)  

HILARIOUS pillow story - well maybe not to you, but to read it it is :) ALMOST THERE!!! So exciting! And this will be a good story to tell Biggie Smalls. Hang in there and you may not want it, but an epidural really does makes delivery fun! Good luck in all that occurs and I can't wait for pictures. And Rob... keep the humor coming.

jena wise  – (12:24 PM)  

good luck Lorena! At least you are in a country that didn't induce you yesterday after 24 hours? Hang in there - it'll all be worth it in the end when you have a healthy baby boy (spoken from a mom with a C-section scar!)

Bellie  – (10:27 PM)  

Deep Breaths and wishing you and Biggie Smalls all so well.

KellySummer  – (2:03 AM)  

aah lorena! i am not excited for this labor/birth phase you are discussing. I am jealous that you are excited. good luck and fun that its so close!!

Maren  – (8:27 PM)  

Oh, my goodness. That is soo what it feels like....I totally understand. We aren't in control when it comes to birth. I prepared to have James naturally and he was a c-section in the end...that was hard for me. I like to imagine myself taking a whole 18 pack of eggs out into the garden and just chucking them one by one against the fence into a big dripping mess when I am angry! I have never actually done it, but I think I should...fulfill my dreams, you know:) I am so glad everything turned out well. He is beautiful!!!!

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