Bun in the Oven
Yes, it's true. Rob and I finally grew up enough to decide to have a kid. And I finally made it to my second trimester. FINALLY!!! The last couple months really stunk, but now that I have made it past feeling miserable all of the time (now it is just some of the time), I am feeling a lot more excited about this. I didn't think it was right to blog about it earlier when all I could think was "why didn't I hire a surrogate?"
But now I am getting more excited each day. I got to have a sonogram today and saw my baby's heartbeat, saw it kick and wiggle around, wave hello, smile at me, do some jumping jacks, flash the peace sign, and mouth the quadratic formula. It was pretty cool to see. Those cryptic sonogram pictures that always just looked like boring random blobs or inkblots to me when my friends showed them to me of their kids, are a lot more fascinating now that it is my very own little creature.
I've had so many thoughts flying around in my head since becoming pregnant. My whole life is about to change, and a lot of it already has. Not being able to race this year has been an obvious big lifestyle change for me already, and I can't train the same either. My doctor has been pretty understanding of my athletic addiction and I can still do a lot, but she still set some limits. And now that I am in my second trimester I'm supposed to give up my Saturday basketball games as well. Boooo. I contemplate often about where I will be at life this time next year. I know what my hopes are, but I am so uncertain about what the reality of life will be like once I actually have a child. I know that sports and competition (and specifically bike racing the last few years) are my life-blood, and it will be interesting to see to what degree I will be able to/want to pursue such individualistic endeavors once I have my own flesh-and-blood as my number one concern. Questions, questions. One thing I know is that Rob and I are both so happy for this - we waited until the time was right for us, and we're so excited for this new adventure.
...and also scared to death.
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Hawaii
